Big Fun

"Big Fun" is the fifth song of Act One of Heathers the Musical. In this song, Ram Sweeney and Kurt Kelly have the house for themselves after their fathers leave for a fishing trip, roughing their sons up in a similar fashion to the way their sons treat the kids at school. With his folks gone, Ram starts the party, which quickly grows out of control as Veronica Sawyer gets increasingly drunk. Martha Dunnstock shows up, thinking Ram invited her because of the note, in hopes of discovering he likes her as much as she likes him, only to be cruelly rebuffed. The Heathers try to prank her dressing up a pig-shaped piñata to resemble her, but Veronica stops them and throws the piñata in the pool. After the song, she resigns from the Heathers, but Heather Chandler refuses to allow her to walk away, threatening to ruin her social life. In response, the inebriated Veronica vomits on Chandler's shoes, enraging her, and the students turn their backs on her, afraid of the repercussions of staring.

Lyrics
 [KURT] Dad says act our age You heard the man It’s time to rage

[COMPANY] Blast the bass Turn out the light Ain’t nobody home tonight

[RAM] Drink, smoke, it’s all cool Let’s get naked in my pool

[COMPANY] Punch the wall and start a fight Ain’t nobody home tonight

[KURT] His folks got a water bed Come upstairs and rest your head

[RAM] Let’s rub each others backs While watchin’ porn on Cinemax

[COMPANY] Aaaaaaaah! The folks are gone It’s time for big fun Big fun! We’re up til dawn Havin’ some big fun Big fun!

When Mom and Dad forget To lock the liquor cabinet It’s big fun Big fun! Big fun!

[VERONICA] Okay, okay, okay, So it’s salt, and then lime, and then shot.

[HEATHER MCNARAMA] No, it’s salt, then sho—

[HEATHER CHANDLER] You’re doing it wrong!

[VERONICA] Wait, really? Cause I feel great!

[RAM] Veronica, you are lookin’ good tonight!

[VERONICA] Woah A hot guy smiled at me Without a trace of mockery

[COMPANY] Everyone’s high a kite Ain’t nobody home tonight

[VERONICA] Stoned, zoned, I should quit Hey, is that weed? I want a hit!

[COMPANY] Fill that joint and roll it tight Ain’t nobody home tonight

[VERONICA] Dreams are comin’ true When people laugh But not at you I’m not alone I’m not afraid I feel like Bono at Live Aid

[COMPANY] Aaaaaah! The house is ours It’s time for big fun Big fun! Let’s use their showers That sounds like big fun Big fun! Crack open one more case

[VERONICA] I think that’s what they call third base

[COMPANY] Big fun! Big fun! Big fun!

[VERONICA] That actually looks like

[COMPANY] Big fun! Big fun! Big fun! Woo!

[KURT] Alright people, listen up! What is Westerburg gonna do to the Razorbacks at Sunday’s game?

[RAM] Gonna make ‘em go Wee! Wee! Wee! Wee!

[COMPANY] Big fun! Big fun!

[HEATHER DUKE] Way to show maturity

[COMPANY] Big fun! Big fun!

[HEATHER DUKE] Quit it, jackass Get off of me!

[COMPANY] Big fun! Big fun!

[VERONICA] Yo, Ram, emergency I just saw some freshmen sneaking over the pool fence

[RAM] I hate freshman! Where are you little pricks? I’m comin’ for you!

[VERONICA] Hey, are you okay?

[HEATHER DUKE] I didn’t need your help

[VERONICA] Awwww! Thanks, Heather, but I don’t really have to vomit right now

[COMPANY] The party’s hot, hot, hot! It’s time for big fun Big fun!

[RAM] You need a Jello shot

[COMPANY] Were havin’ big fun Big fun!

[HEATHER DUKE] Martha Dumptruck in the flesh

[HEATHER MCNAMARA] Here comes the cootie squad!

[HEATHER DUKE] You should—

[HEATHER CHANDLER] Shut up, Heather!

[HEATHER DUKE] Sorry, Heather

[HEATHER MCNAMARA] Look who’s with her Oh my god!

[ALL HEATHERS] Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang

[VERONICA] I can’t believe you actually came

[MARTHA] It’s exciting, right? Oh, I wanna say hello to Ram I brought sparkling cider!

[HEATHER CHANDLER] Showing up here took some guts Time to rip ‘em out

[HEATHER DUKE] Well who’s this pig remind you of? Especially the snout! Ha!

[ALL HEATHERS] Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang

[RAM] Where the hell are those freshmen?

[MARTHA] Hi, Ram. Uh, I wasn’t gonna come But since you took the time to write that sweet note—

[RAM] What note? Why do you gotta be so weird all the time? People wouldn’t hate you so much if you acted normal There’s no alcohol in here! Are you trying to poison me?
 * spits out sparkling cider*

[ALL HEATHERS] Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang Dang, dang, diggity-dang-a-dang Diggity-dang-a-dang!

[COMPANY] The folks are gone It’s time for big fun Big fun! We’re up til dawn Havin’ some big fun Big fun!

So let the speakers blow They’ll buy another stereo Our folks got no clue ‘Bout all the shit their children do Why are they surprised whenever we’re unsupervised?

It’s big fun Big fun! Big fun! Big fun! Big fun! Big fun! Wooh!