Blue

"Blue" is the tenth song of Act One of the Original Off-Broadway version of Heathers the Musical. Veronica Sawyer comes to Heather McNamara's aid after receiving a phone call from her, who is on a double date with Kurt Kelly, Ram Sweeney, and Heather Duke. Veronica gets there only to find out that McNamara set her up for date rape so she herself could get away from it. Ram and Kurt go on to sing about the blue b*lls she gives them by rejecting their advances, which is fitting to Veronica's signature color being blue.

Lyrics
 [RAM]

Heyyyyy, 'Ronica

[VERONICA]

Eww

You got a left hand

Use it

[KURT]

Don't talk mean like that

[RAM]

You'll hurt their feelings

You make my balls so blue

[KURT]

You hurt them badly

[RAM]

You make my balls so blue

[KURT]

They're hangin' sadly

[RAM]

What did they do to you that you hate them so?

[KURT]

Don't run from me

They're all beat up

[KURT & RAM]

Like a tackling dummy!

[KURT]

They long for your embrace

[RAM]

They're warm like mittens!

[KURT]

They'll curl up on your face

[RAM]

And purr like kittens!

[KURT]

You make my balls so blue!

[KURT & RAM]

Just look at them glow...

[RAM]

They're beggin' you!

[KURT & RAM]

Don't make my balls so blue

[VERONICA]

Heather? Heather? Open the door

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

Oh no, oh no no no!

[VERONICA]

Open the door!

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

Oh no, oh no no no!

[KURT]

You make my balls so blue

So please say hello

[RAM]

Hold 'em!

[KURT]

Enfold 'em!

[KURT & RAM]

And never let go!

[KURT]

Once you were geeky and nerdy

[RAM]

But they knew you're dirty

[KURT]

You've set them on fire

[KURT & RAM]

Whatever you require they'll do!

So take 'em home to meet your parents!

They'll wear a suit and tie

[KURT, HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

And a fancy collar!

[RAM]

They'll sing a lullaby

[KURT & RAM]

La la la la la!

[KURT, RAM, HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

Please make these balls not blue

[RAM]

Just for a while!

[KURT]

Can't wait til later

[KURT & RAM]

My pants are rubbin' like a hot cheese grater!

[VERONICA]

Look. Booze. Drink!

[KURT]

Thank you so much!

[RAM]

They will protect you

[KURT]

Defend you

[RAM]

Respect you

[KURT]

Befriend you

[RAM]

Like Winnie-the-Pooh!

[HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

Winnie-the-Pooh!

[KURT]

Baby! Baby! Baby!

They're so blue!

[RAM]

My balls will work for you

[KURT, HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

They will obey ya!

[RAM]

They really need rescue

[KURT, HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

Like Princess Leia

[KURT & RAM]

Baby, you gots to come through

[KURT]

Teach them to smile

[RAM, HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

You've got not clue how much these two depend on you

[KURT, RAM, HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

Please help them through

My balls are in your court!

[KURT, RAM, HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

Yeah! (You make them balls so blue)

You make my balls so blue (You make them balls so blue)

Oh! Ow! You make my balls so blue (You shake them, you quake them)

Good God, my balls (You break - you make my balls so blue)

You make my balls so blue (You take them, you make them)

Look it! Look at it! (Crissake them)

Look it! Look at it!

[KURT, RAM, HEATHER DUKE & HEATHER MCNAMARA]

You make my balls so blue!

Please make their dreams come true

And make these balls not blue!