My Dead Gay Son

"My Dead Gay Son" is the thirteenth song of Act Two of the Original Off-Broadway version of Heathers the Musical.

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Original Off-Broadway Lyrics
 [BILL SWEENEY]

You wait just a minute, Paul!

It is ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place our boys could not live in!

They were not dirty!

They were not wrong!

They were just two lonely verses in the Lord's great song!

[PAUL KELLY]

Our boys were pansies, Bill!

[BILL SWEENEY]

Yes!

My boy's a homosexual and that don't scare me none

I want the world to know

I love my dead gay son!

I've been thinkin', prayin'

Readin' some magazines

And it's time we opened our eyes

Well, the good Lord made the universe

The Lord created man

And I believe it's all a part of his gigantic plan

I know God has a reason for each mountain and each flower

And why he chose to let our boys get busy in the shower

[BILL SWEENEY & COMPANY]

They were not dirty! (No!)

They were not fruits! (Whoa!)

They were just two stray laces in the Lord's big boots (Whoaaa!)

Well, I never cared for homos much until I reared me one

[BILL SWEENEY & COMPANY]

But now I've learned to love

[BILL SWEENEY]

I love my dead gay son!

[COMPANY]

He loves his son

He loves his son

His dead gay son!

[BILL SWEENEY]

Now I say my boy's in heaven and he's tanning by the pool

The cherubim walk him and him and Jesus says it's cool!

They don't have crime or hatred

There's no bigotry or cursin'

Just friendly fellows dressed up like their favorite village person!

[BILL SWEENEY & COMPANY]

They were not dirty! (No no!)

They just had flair! (Whoa!)

They were two bright red ribbons in the Lord's long hair (Whoaaa!)

Well, I used to see a homo and go reachin' for my gun

[BILL SWEENEY & COMPANY]

But now I've learned to love

[BILL SWEENEY]

And furthermore!

These boys were brave as hell

These boys they knew damn well

Those folks would judge 'em

They were desperate to be free

They took a rebel stance

Stripped to their underpants

Paul, I can't believe that you

Still refuse to get a clue

After all that we been through

I'm talking you and me!

In the summer of '83

[PAUL KELLY]

That was one hell of a fishin' trip

[COMPANY]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

They were not dirty - Whoa!

And not perverse - No no!

They were just two stray rhinestones on the Lord's big purse!

[BILL SWEENEY & PAUL KELLY]

Our jobs are now continuing the work that they begun!

[COMPANY]

'Cause now we love, love, love!

We love your dead—

[BILL SWEENEY & PAUL KELLY]

They're up there disco dancing to the thump of angel wings!

They grab a mate and roller skate while Judy Garland sings!

They live a playful afterlife that's fancy-free and reckless!

[PAUL KELLY]

They swing upon the pearly gates

[BILL SWEENEY, PAUL KELLY & COMPANY]

And wear a pearly necklace!

Whoo!

They were not dirty (No!)

They were good men (Whoa whoa!)

[BILL SWEENEY, PAUL KELLY, COMPANY]

And now they're happy bear cubs in the Lord's big den!

[BILL SWEENEY & PAUL KELLY]

Go forth and love each other now

Like our boys would have done

[BILL SWEENEY & PAUL KELLY, COMPANY]

We'll teach the world to love (Teach the world to love)

The world to love

[BILL SWEENEY & PAUL KELLY]

I love my dead gay son!

[COMPANY, BILL SWEENEY & PAUL KELLY]

Not half bad, your dead gay son! (I love my dead gay son!)

Wish I had your dead gay son! (My son! My son!)

Thank you, dad, for your...

(Dead! Gay!)

Son!